TKE FOUNDER’S DAY
Visiting the Santa Cruz chapter
A member of Tau Kappa Epsilon
Joining Alpha Phi Omega
But right now I want to belong to a member of Kappa Sigma
Vacation to Pismo, Santa Barbara, Hollywood, West Hollywood, Santa Monica, and Santa Cruz
Some pics from my trip to the
2014 PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARDS
It was a cool experience. Got to walk the red carpet and meet really cool people!
Talked to Sandra Bullock! (thats her backside in the green and white dress lol) and I talked to Sarah Michelle Gellar! I was also extra excited to take a picture with Bailee Madison (young Snow White from ‘Once Upon a Time’).
This is an adorable little gifset, but you know what upsets me? It’s the first gif. The moment they pull away from the kiss the guy on the right shoots a look over his shoulder. I’ve done that. I always do that whenever I kiss a guy in public because I’ve grown up in a world where I’ve had abuse hurled at me and friends who were gay bashed. It’s survival. It’s sad.
My hope for the future is that no one will have to look over their shoulder to check the coast is clear when they want to kiss. Kissing is natural and beautiful, no matter who you’re doing it to.
I’ve never NOT done that.
I’ve never even held my fiance’s hand in public for an extended period of time. I’m too bloody scared.
Same. There’s always the awareness. Public display of affection, however small is never without at the very minimal the thought of fear that someone might see it who will say something horrible, or worse.
I don’t think I ever thought I was the only one who felt like this but it’s comforting to see real people say it. It’s sad we have to live our lives being careful of who sees our affection and I was admittedly a lot more cautious in my younger days.
Now I’m all old and jaded and grizzled and I don’t give a fuck if somebody has a problem with me or anything I do.
I admit I did the same thing like the first gif. After we kissed in public, we had to look around to see if anyone saw us. It’s not because we’re ashamed, but because we’re scared that it would compromise our safety. And the last gif too, he has to look before contemplating to put a hand around the other guy. :c
I always got really nervous when a guy tried to hold on my hand in public. I wanted it to feel right but it just didn’t with all this amount of fear going through my head.
I go to fucking Ithaca College, one of the most LGBT friendly schools in the US, and I still feel a cold rush of dread when I show public affection for a man I’m dating.
I also grew up in a decently accepting/liberal town, and I still have this fear. This is the kind of town where my coming out in 8th grade was no big deal, and yet my stomach threatens to abort mission when I touch another man and the door to my room is open. I was president of our GSA for chrissakes and every mention I made about guys that I liked in high school made me wonder if that would be the day someone called me a fag again and try to assault me.
This kind of shit is why I get so pissed when people say that queer people have come far enough and that we don’t need to keep fighting. That we’re making a big deal out of nothing.
Maybe when kids don’t grow up with such an ingrained discourse of fear and shame about their sexuality, then maybe we’ve gotten to a place we need to be.
Maybe when my friends don’t have to fucking fear for their lives when they use a bathroom.
Maybe when streets aren’t a battleground and we don’t all have to play the part of the covert operative.
It amazes me how common this is to so many, if not all, people in the queer community. No matter where you grew up, no matter who you knew. The fear is there and it threatens to keep you from loving yourself and others freely and openly. It makes me so sick and so tired that a common denominator in the queer community is fear. Fear of being found out, of being seen, of who knows who you really are, of who you can and can’t trust with yourself.